This trip diary has been shared with my lover’s not only approval, but encouragement.
Hotel details are kept vague on purpose, and I publish this kind of travel diary (when I do write one - most of the time I don’t) with a minimum six-month delay from the date of the trip, for safety and discretion purposes. If you don’t want me to write about our trip, please feel free to let me know in advance.
When I landed in Zanzibar, the first thing I saw was digital billboards that said “To advertise here, call X number”.
And I realised I hadn’t seen that kind of procedure in a long time. I wonder if someone actually picks up; that would be nice. Imagine calling a business or customer service number and actually getting through to a human instead of a useless bot or pre-recorded voicemail message. Hasn’t happened to me in quite some time.
I had read the worst about the airport, and as an ocd planner I definitely stressed about it, but I got through immigration really quickly (probably being at the front of the plane also helped!), and the airport seemed clean, even if it surely didn’t provide much entertainment like a DXB or Changi, but I never expected that. It did take about 40 minutes to get the suitcases on the baggage carousel, despite my flight being the only one at that time.
When I enquired, frustrated, I was met with “hakuna matata”. I wasn’t sure what to say back. I was just thinking about a brunch I was craving by then.
I had read the worst reviews about passengers being stopped for no reason just to get bribes, so I had my bribes ready in my pocket, but luckily they weren’t needed.
Our first hotel in Zanzibar was on a remote island (and a marine protected area!).
I actually couldn’t wait to write this piece to show the world my occasional adventurous side, since I’ve been previously accused of only staying at Aman properties. And, I mean, that’s an accusation I would happily take any day; it means that I have great taste and my boyfriends are filthy rich.
The transfer to the island was definitely not a private yacht.
But that added to the fun, and sooner rather than later my 3‑piece Rimowa set was delivered safe and sound to my bungalow.
There are only seven bungalows on the whole island, and my lover’s bungalow was next to mine. Separate accommodation is always required on extended travel, as the goal should be to reset and recharge and grow fonder of our bond by the end of the trip, not look 20 years older due to lack of sleep and dreaming of killing each other if immunity was available.
Later that afternoon, one of the rangers took us for a walk in the only fully protected coral‑rag forest habitats in Africa. The forest is home to a small population of critically endangered Ader’s duiker antelopes, nearly 80 species of birds, and a vast array of insects, reptiles and crustaceans, including the coconut crab, the largest land‑living crab in the world. However, we had to wait for nightfall to see this impressive creature, as it hides during the day.
As the largest land‑living crabs in the world, coconut crabs can grow up to 1 metre (3 ft 3 in) in length (leg to leg) and weigh more than 4 kg (9 lb). Almost lobster‑like in appearance, these slow‑moving crabs have considerable pincer strength, and are able to climb coconut trees and crack open coconut shells. They are like no other creature and well worth a night‑time adventure.
Snorkelling in this protected reserve was incredible. The marine reserve is host to 59 genera of hard corals, 514 species of reef fish, and 89 reef‑based invertebrates, including sponges, starfish, sea cucumbers and clams. I purchased, months in advance, a diving phone cover to take photos underwater: not pretty, takes up a lot of space and it’s like 2 kg heavy. Despite this, this was the best photo I took lol.
I did also take this lovely pic of my boobs (not on purpose, I’m not that vain) (or maybe I am?).
There was no internet or phone signal on the island (so I definitely would not recommend going there with a partner you can’t stand - hey, I just mentioned roughly 85% of the world’s married population lol).
Source: my own personal experience with married men’s confessions.
(But there are always two sides to the story, so I’m sure the percentage might be even higher if I were to hear the wives’ side).
Being totally disconnected from the outside world felt weird at first, but so regenerative after the first day.
And, I mean, there are worse places to be stuck without social media to scroll.
I’ve tried “digital detoxes” before, but in places where there was connectivity; you just have to surrender your devices (e.g. there are some fancy cabins in the woods in the UK like that). But I didn’t enjoy that at all. I just spent hours thinking about and staring at the box where I had placed my phone(s), obsessing over it just like a heroin addict, and eventually giving in for a cheap thrill (or expensive thrill, if your drug of choice is cocaine).
The whole experience felt so in symbiosis with nature, and not a luxury hotel at all. I think being two of seven bungalows on an otherwise uninhabited island was the luxury itself. And I don’t want to fool you: there was still a ratio of about five staff members to each guest, so let’s be honest, it was a luxury stay, just marketed differently perhaps (a bit like the trust fund kids when they cosplay a communist side, I’m sure we all know a few? lol).
I was shocked to learn that there were no power sockets in the bungalows (which are solar powered), especially after I occupied half of my carry‑on with my Dyson Airwrap plus all seven attachments. Luckily, and completely by chance, my keratin hair treatment was due just before the trip, so even without blow‑drying my hair, I didn’t look like a wet dog.
Aside from power sockets, the bungalows have everything you might need, including:
a swinging day bed for a mandatory post‑lunch siesta,
accessories for those who didn’t bring three suitcases (not me),
a safe for my Van Cleef jewellery (first time in my life that a safe’s size makes me feel like I don’t have enough jewellery!),
and a wardrobe for my Zimmermann dresses.
Breathtaking view from the bed on the upper floor included.
One of the things we loved the most (together with the food, which was utterly delicious and Michelin‑star level even if extremely simple, and served here!) was the presence of cabanas and big day beds around the island.
We both love to walk and chat or sometimes just walk in silence hand in hand, looking around (especially on an island this breathtaking!), so it was so wonderful to lie down on these along the way (plus a kiss and a little cuddle, of course).
I mean, look at this view! I can’t believe I once paid $1k for a much uglier cabana in a Las Vegas pool (and yes, it was my own money, not a man’s money, awful! It was actually $5k and we were five girlfriends), while laying down in this cabana is completely free (well, kind of).
Upon departure, my lover filled up this box with $100 bills: I do love a generous gentleman, both with me and with others.
9 a.m. of the third day: our time as Tarzan and Jane is up and it’s time to go back to civilisation!
Our next hotel was a lovely, quaint boutique hotel on the beach, with only five rooms and the best‑looked‑after garden I’ve ever seen!
By then, after our three-day stay away from civilisation, I couldn’t wait to feel like a woman again, and I definitely spent a good two hours between a full‑body scrub, hair mask and Korean face mask (ah, the joys of globalisation!).
Our few days at this hotel consisted of enjoying the view and each other, and just being appreciative of life and how lucky we are to be healthy and wealthy enough to be in the position to travel wherever we want to, whenever we want to.
The only pic I got of me at this hotel: I asked him to take a pic of me and he kissed me instead (and ruined the pic, but it was a good kiss).
We also went for long romantic walks on the beach hand in hand, wind on our faces.
The food at the hotel was delicious and it was a real treat having such an incredible property pretty much to ourselves (there are five rooms and we occupied two), so we always ate there.
Featuring the biggest tuna tartare I’ve ever been served,
a fish I showed my awful deboning skills with,
and the best passionfruit cheesecake I’ve ever had.
On our walks we did see some interesting - and Michelin‑worthy, I’m sure - joints.
“The newness of novelty is exciting, but after having tried so many different places all over, and having been lucky enough to do that at top end, honestly so many were disappointing, and there’s something so comforting in consistent good quality. So since I’ve been so lucky in a million to find that, why would I want to keep wasting time and energy trying other options that don’t even compare to this remotely?”
This is how my lover started one of our lunches by the sea at the hotel restaurant. I thought he was talking about the hotel’s restaurant and why he’d rather just eat there every day. Then he told me he was referring to me.
What can I say, if not that I wholeheartedly agree!
The hotel’s gardener must agree too, as he made me this bracelet.
Over those days, I was reading this book and my lover is curious how the “4‑Hour Workweek”, which basically preaches upping your current income but decreasing the hours worked per week to - you guessed it - four, is going to work exactly in my industry…
In other news, feet fetishists will love my rock shoes.
Time to transfer to the next and last hotel of this incredible 10‑day trip! We wanted somewhere even more relaxing for the last leg of the holiday. When even the driver had difficulty finding it, we knew we’d made a good choice and it was off-the-beaten-track enough!
There are only four villas, two of which were booked by us and the other two stayed empty the whole time, so we literally had the whole place and about 20 members of staff to ourselves!
Girls, get a man who gets you two adjacent mansions!!
The pool wasn’t quite big enough for Michael Phelps’ trainings, so my goggles weren’t of much use here...
My home for the next four days:
And from his POV:
The upper floor was so amazing at night! Some cocktails, music, moonlight dancing, watching the stars! Ahhh, life is good (actually, life is what you make of it!).
How wonderful it is to be so comfortable in each other’s company, to be seen and understood.
I love this little life of mine!
This last part of the trip was honestly so nourishing, but I don’t want to share too much about it; I wrote this diary to be able to go back to it and cherish the memories, as well as to give others a little peek into my life, but most of the holiday will live on in our memory and hearts only.
Off to the airport we go, extremely thankful for our air‑conditioned chauffeured van and even more aware, after this trip, of being born extremely privileged in an unfair world.
On this trip, rather than seeking to see the world through photo ops between foreign‑but‑familiar hotels, we aimed to experience it at a speed that let it change us.
“Before the development of tourism, travel was conceived to be like study, and its fruits were considered to be the adornment of the mind and the formation of the judgment”.
- PAUL FUSSELL, Abroad
Ready to create your very own memories with me on this wonderful planet we’re lucky enough to call home? Get in touch :)